Poker & gambling
poker stars piece of shit
sit and gos are shit
pokerstars gave me $2
leaving pokerstars have had enough
i made a killing on pokerstars
why is rakeback bad
fuck this god damned fucking game poker
if you get tensed up like when playing poker can it feel weird when you swallow?
mercedes s550 makes millions with online poker
how the fuck do you get value in full ring poker?
im eating so many bad beats at poker table what the hell
why am i so shit at poker
stop giving me so many fucking bad beats
why are there so many bad beats in new orleans
how to cheat ridiculously bad at blackjack

Sex
is getting a boner while grinding with a girl bad
semen bad
semen tree
free gay spanking videos
hiro nakamura porn version
rear video of african zulu tribe members fucking
tree seman
couples.bad.fucking
old gay spanking
carradine had string on his balls
have you ever sucked a penis
iron on sex positions silhouette

Food
celery coupons
i found sum pillz and eated em
bad effect of eating too much almonds
are almonds bad if you eat too many?
what’s a good amount of almonds to eat
32 almonds a day

Bad Beats Crew members
is derk hurt
what was the ’80’s video game derk
bbc is it true stefan prodan is the worst human being
derk.history.gov
stefan prodan is so gay and he don’t even know it

Computer problems
my keylogging is really boring
mylife.com registration is having a prolem woops
my computer is freezing running slow and closing like a roller blind
gofuck.comthat

What?
move trachea makes crunching sound
my cousin vinny ethical issue
pictures of shit awesome hearts
if we do not get money we beat the crew badly
awesome shittttt
shit cake
a job that starts with t and ends with k and only 5 letters
circulatory system of tilapia

A week ago I got to tag along with Leo (Superfluous Man) to the NBC HU championship draw party where Gavin Smith about took my arm off barreling up to the stage when his matchup was drawn.  After that was over, apparently Jason (JCarver) was in town on his way to LAPC or something and dropped in to sweat Leo and Negreanu so we went to go get food.  This is always fun because you get to watch Jason sweat and worry about what’s on the menu.

Of course I have the worst sleep schedule ever so I missed the actual games which started at noon the next day.  No spoilers, but while the winner of the whole tournament is disliked by a number of poker players, the result will probably be good from a pr/publicity standpoint.

Jason, Leo, and a bunch of other people came over to my place to watch WEC and eat chicken (obv) on Saturday which was fun.  WSOP is gonna be sick when everyone is in town for a solid month.

I also just ordered a new desktop which I’m pretty excited about.  Basically in the past 10 years I’ve had two desktops, both of which I built myself.  I had a ton of problems with bad hardware on my latest one, and it tends to reboot at random times usually every 1-2 days, though sometimes it might do it 30 minutes after a reboot.  It makes it really annoying to play poker or record a video on.  I have a laptop and even mobile broadband, so if my desktop crashes or if the power or internet goes down I’ll be OK.  If you play cash games and things go wrong, no big deal.  Miss a few orbits of a MTT? Usually no biggie.  If I’m playing a decent number of SNGs and everything dies then I can lose $1500.

Anyway I configured a bunch of stuff on the Dell and HP sites.  Does anyone even do configurable desktops aside from them anymore?  Gateway got bought by Acer, so they don’t.  Sony sort of does but it’s all-in-one stuff I think.  After building a couple of models I really liked I parted it out on newegg/pricewatch to see how much I’d save if I built it myself.  Surprisingly, it was within $100, and that’s with a service plan.  So the new box should be here before the end of the month.  It’s an i7-930 (yeah I know i5 is the sweet spot, but I’m drooling over triple channel and 6 DIMMs, and it was only around $150 more), 12GB DDR3-1066 (6×2GB DIMMs — the board supports 1333 but the manufacturer doesn’t offer it and the speed difference would be negligible), 2×500GB HDD in a RAID 1 configuration, and a Radeon HD 4850 (I don’t play any games really).  Thanks to Eric, nachos, and ultimatemike for letting me bounce ideas off them.

Anyway, evang spent a few days out here and I went with him one day to play poker at Treasure Island.  Their poker room is small and only had one table of 2/4 going.  A few of the players were there playing to try to accumulate 200 hours so they could play in some freeroll.  The rake as well as the players were atrocious and after about 3 hours I was ready to cut my wrists.  We hit up the Rio, my first time back since WSOP, and played some Texas Hold’em Bonus.  Going to casinos, aside from going to say hello to JCarver for WPT Festa al Lago at the Bellagio, kinda got me interested in killing some time there occasionally.

So, I got the awesome idea that I would go grind video poker and get up to a higher tier level of rewards at the Boyd group of casinos (The Orleans, Sam’s Town, Gold Coast, etc.).  I also took some sports picks from someone I know that has a pretty good record in this stuff, and was on my way.  Well I basically made over $1000 playing video poker while occasionally checking lines, placing some smallish bets, etc.  Then after maybe 10 or so hours of playing video poker across 5 or 6 days I realized it is the most boring thing ever.  I don’t even understand how people get addicted to gambling in that way.  Yeah, punting off your paycheck over 10 hands at the blackjack table is one thing, but I would see people grinding 25 cent video poker (be it +EV on full pay machines or -EV) for the entire day, several days in a row.  I actually even caught some woman surreptitiously pulling out a cheat sheat from her purse every 2 minutes or so to check on a hand.  Really, if you have to check that often, you’re not doing it right.

Anyway, about 1/3 of the way towards the next tier level I decided that was enough for me and quit video poker.  I’m definitely going to go check out some other sportsbooks though.  The NBA lines at the Boyd casinos were OK, but the vig on the MMA lines was pretty bad.  I don’t know if that’s standard or what, but I guess I’ll find out as I visit other books.  I’ve actually wanted to get more into sports betting for some time now, even buying some of the better known advice books, but I’ll just stick to going off other peoples picks that I trust until I get my feet wet.  Drop a comment if you have any tips on sportsbooks in Vegas.

2nd time I’ve won it, holla!

I recently got signed as a PokerVT pro and will be making videos for them. I just finished up the first few hours of my content that’s going up on PokerVT.com. I’m going to be primarily doing videos on sit-and-gos, with a lot of content that will be relevant for players of all levels and all games including the basics of SNGs like expected ROI and bankroll requirements, hand recommendations and basic lines for various stages of SNGs, a thorough SNGWiz tutorial and survey of other software, and coverage of both basic and advanced ICM concepts.

I’m pretty excited to be working with the PokerVT team and am looking forward to making videos and interacting with people on the forums there.

If you’re interested in checking out my instructional videos or videos from others including JCarver, Adam Junglen, Annette Obrestad, and Daniel Negreanu, head on over there and sign up using promo code NotAProblem for 20% off and 90 days free!

I got in on the evening of June 8th and promptly got lost getting to my hotel a couple of blocks east of the strip.  There’s a ton of roadwork going on all hours of the day which is probably the most annoying thing about Las Vegas.  Flamingo from the Strip to Paradise is completely tore up and closed down to one lane at night, the interstate to Henderson has some lane closures, and even some side road next to the Rio that I was on once to avoid rush hour traffic was being worked on. 

The first event I played in was the $1500 shootout.  The WSOP this year started with triple chips but the structures on some events were modified.  Overall, though, events were a tad slower than in previous years.  If you know me you know I love fast structures with short stacks, but even with the structure changes the $1500 seemed to go by too fast for me.   Nobody notable was at my table and everyone was pretty bad.  I caught every person open limping at least twice, but could never get anything going and lost my first flip, 99 < AK to bust during the third level. 

A couple of days later though, I sweated JCarver when he made the final table of the event.  Got to meet gobboboy, mlagoo, Adam Junglen, ActionJeff, Unamuno, EC10, and Psyduck, amongst others.  I think the 50k HORSE event was on the final two tables, so both the feature and secondary featured table (they are adjacent to each other) were being used for that, which relegated the shootout final table to a nearby table that didn’t have much room on the rail.  After a level or two the HORSE event went down to one table and the shootout got moved over.  JCarver got 2nd and didn’t really have much of a chance once it got heads up as his opponent had pretty much steamrolled everyone and had a massive chip lead, something around to 10:1.  Big congrats to Jason for shipping about $200k in that though.

I’ve been thinking of moving to Vegas for a while now, and so the next week I checked out Panorama Towers, where a ton of poker players live.  It’s a very nice place.  Gated access, valet, movie theaters in each tower, exercise rooms, pool, great views, etc.  You have to rent through real estate agents, so MTC got me in contact with his current agent and we toured the place.  No 1-bedroom condos were available to look at, so I just got to see a couple of 2-bedroom places and tour the grounds.  I went back a few weeks later when I could see a 1-bedroom place and saw a small one that I didn’t want, and a larger one that was just perfect.  Too bad it wasn’t available, sigh.

Unamuno and MTC both made it deep in the $10k heads up event, so I sweated them starting with the round of eight.  Actually MTC busted by the time I got there, and Johnny Chan was playing vs someone for the last spot in the final four, but Leo had won so I stuck around for that.  He eventually won his final four match, versus the guy who beat Johnny Chan.  The plan was to play through the best-of-three final match that night but delayed it until the next day because it was midnight.  A ton of people showed up for it, with very little rail space, and the match took forever.  Leo’s opponent was John Duthie, who created the EPT and is a well known figure in poker in Europe.  Some of the Hendon Mob as well as Andy Black were there sweating Ross Boatman who had made a final table nearby, and when he got knocked out of that they started sweating Duthie.  However all the internet kids were there sweating Leo.  Even lilholdem showed up to sweat a while.   He’s much more well spoken in real life than he is online.  The first match lasted 100 hands and Duthie won, the second match took fewer than 10 hands before Leo won, and the third match went 200 hands, and Leo won a bracelet.  So sick.  After the second match they agreed to chop $450k and play for 100k and the bracelet, so he shipped $550k.  He also got a lot of press because of his law background and the fact that he’s here in Vegas doing work for the ACLU and could only really play events on the weekends.

The next event I played in was the $5000 shootout.  The structure was a bit deeper and slower than the $1500, which I definitely preferred.  Unfortunately, there were actually notables at my table this time:  Nick Binger, Isaac Haxton, and Scott Seiver.  I know Ike and Scott are good friends, and were backing a lot of people in events.  MTC even talked to them about backing me in some stuff, but they ran out of backing money.  So, they obviously are very familiar with each other.  This led to some interesting spots where we would all be involved in a pot and I’d end up tossing the best hand when one would bet and the other would call and somehow my weak 2nd or 3rd pair would have been good.  Hasan Habib was also at my table but he showed up very late and lost QQ < AQ to Seiver and was gone.

After a while I kept hovering between push/fold and slightly above push/fold stack size.  When it was down to 4 players it was me, Isaac, Scott, and a local guy.  I doubled through Scott twice, with KQs > ATo, and AA > TT, then Isaac busted to the local.  I then busted Scott, AA > A6, and was heads up versus the local with about a 4:1 chip disadvantage.  I was still in that push/fold mode for most of the time heads up because I had 10-15bb or so.  In probably 100 hand I must have pushed on this guy like 40 times but he would never call.  He also open folded his sb only twice, and limped it the other 90% of the time.  Eventually he does call, and fortunately for me I have AKs, but he has AA and I’m gone.

I spent most of the next 10 days in bed with pretty bad allergy problems, but it finally cleared up a couple of days before the main event. I registered on the Friday that the main event started and then hit up the Pokerpalooza displays they have near the poker rooms.   JCarver works for PokerVT, and I’m a member there even though I haven’t ever really used my account, oops.  But that was where ultimatemike and a couple other goons were hanging out so I went there for a few hours before crashing.

When I first decided to play some events it was just going to be the two shootouts and that was it.  JCarver told me to play the main event because it’s the softest tournament of the year, but I wasn’t sure if anyone would back me for it.  Thanks to StefanProdan, EC10, and Unamuno buying the majority of my action, though, I was able to play it.  Unfortunately for them and me I got an incredibly tough table draw.

There were several PokerStars Supernova Elites at my table, including on my immediate left and immediate right.  Urindanger (Di Dang) was also at my table, and he struck up a chat with one of the other players and they reminisced about playing 25/50 on Party five years ago.  Nobody was over 30, everyone was pretty good.  Most people were tight but not afraid to play back.

Jeff Lisandro was at an adjacent table, so he got some camera time, especially since he won 3 bracelets this year.  2008 final tablist Dennis Phillips was nearby as well, complete with trucker fan contingent and trucker horn sounding off during level 1.  The call of “shuffle up and deal” was given by Barney Frank, and during the day I saw Norman Chad and Lon McEachern walking around.  In Lon’s case it was on crutches due to knee surgery.  I also got to see Phil Hellmuth’s entrance, which was pretty retarded.

During the first few levels of the main event I was really card dead except for a ton of pocket pairs, none of which ever flopped anything.  We started with 30k at 50/100 and I was down to 23k pretty quickly, then back up to 30k by the end of the second level.   Right before the end of the third level, and dinner break, I lost about half my remaining stack.  After coming back one of the SNEs, Richard “Tzen” Veenman, a limit grinder from the Netherlands, busted.  I figured the table would get easier at this point, but his replacement is Adam Junglen.  During the 4th level I 3bet urindanger’s CO open with AKs.  I have slightly more than a PSB after he calls, so I jam on a Q52r flop and he calls with AQo and that’s the end of me.

Despite not doing shit in WSOP events, I enjoyed the trip.  Bad Beats Crew members have about $1m in cashes this WSOP, and ultimatemike is still in the main event and in the money so good luck to him. I didn’t get to grind at all, but now that I’m back in Austin I am going to tear it up. If things go right I’ll be moving to Vegas at the end of August.  It would be very nice not to have to put my life on hold for 1-2 months for the WSOP every year and being so close to a bunch of other poker players I know, including BBC members, should be fun as well.

This is JCarver if you don’t know.

Vegas tomorrow, twitter updates here: http://twitter.com/PokerDerk

Now time to relax a bit and get ready for WSOP.  I’ll be in Vegas for a month starting June 8 and will be playing the two shootout events, a $1500 buyin and $5000 buyin, and hopefully the main event as well, if I can sell a bunch more of my action in it.